i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
