I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
