i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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