Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
