he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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