I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
