Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
