I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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