Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
