if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize