That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
