Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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