people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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