my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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