You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
