used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
