I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
