yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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