We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
