i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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