Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize