just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
