i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
