:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
