I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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