Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
