I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
