i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
