I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
smell my finger.
worst night to have a conscience
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
