I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize