Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
