I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she told me i tasted like america
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
