Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
