I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
