how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
