Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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