I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
