I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
