Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
