Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The air taste purple.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
