I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you had me at cake vodka
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
