they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
