I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
