Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
