i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
