too bad you live with your parents still
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize