I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say đ
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I s2g Iâm about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Come home... Iâm drinking and playing with knives
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him âBeast Modeâ. So. Many. Orgasms.
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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