First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
