if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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