Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
