Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
