we're blogging at a bar
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
