Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
