I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
