SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
