K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
