is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
