My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
