i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
