she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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