Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
