So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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