You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
