Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As shirtless as possible
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
