i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
