he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
