I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wear drunk well.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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