sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
