i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
