I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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